occupation: SAHM

I enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. I love it so much that I have stopped caring what people think of this profession long ago. The not-so-nice words that come my way just don’t, won’t, can’t offend me anymore.

I admit, though, that there is a bit of problem with this work - the dwindling of my social life, particularly on weekdays. This is the era where most mothers are working mothers. My neighbors are stay-at-home dads as old as my father, and while most of them are nice people, I still long for the company of a girl friend.

I’m not the sort who wants to be surrounded by friends 24/7, but I do wish to have a friend nearby.

I live in a faraway corner of Metro Manila, so that complicates things. I have to cross at least two cities to meet my old friends, and those who are minutes away from here are in work places hours away. Or they now live in another time zone.

I date many of my friends on YM, but there’s nothing like being able to hear the slap of high-fives and each other’s  laughter instead of smileys.

So I prayed. Lord, You know how much I want a girl friend who is just nearby. I appreciate all my friends, old and new, and from all walks of life, but I guess it’s time for a new girl friend.

Can my girl friend be a fellow wife and mom? Can we have parallel views on most things in life? Can she be at least 30 years old, as I tend to pour my soul on someone who once used a Spraynet and sported the Cobra or the Rooster look.

She should be able to at least respect my career of choice, as I don’t like to find myself on the defensive over something I love. It would be a bonus if she is a stay-at-home mom too, but it’s not necessary.

I may not always be available to meet her, but arranging for an afternoon coffee date or a dinner date or a salon date anytime we want to meet should be easy, quick and hassle free.

And she should be available on weekdays as I’m busier on weekends and I tend to reserve it for get-togethers with my family and old friends and with those who are far away.

Can she please be fun? Can she find amusement over small things? Can she allow me to be my quirky self? Can she please find it in her heart to just laugh at my oddities?I hope she’s a little bit odd herself, but sweet and warm, like home.

Then the Lord said, Just one girlfriend?! I’ll give you six. Continue reading ‘Wish’ »

I was asked by my friend to be her lector for her wedding mass a week before the special day. I texted back and expressed my gratefulness. Actually I was informed at least a year ago, but I thought I would just be reading a scripture. No, she said, Lector ka!

Now it can be told.

I froze in fear when I received her text message. I wanted to tell her to get my husband instead. He was an active lector in a parish church for many years, and even attended seminars about it. He has a good speaking voice too, so he was almost always requested to be a lector for friends’ and relatives’ weddings.

Being a lector should be a breeze, but having a “professional lector” for a husband, not to mention that the bride herself is one, put too much pressure on my creamy shoulders.

Now I can finally come out and admit my secret facts about my stint as a lector.

Continue reading ‘Thanks be to God’ »

I really was sick. I was in bed all day Sunday, drinking cough syrup cocktails, trying my best to get well right away, because I couldn’t afford to miss meeting my online pals.

Continue reading ‘blog friends meet at last!’ »

Tsk. I have totally forgotten from which article I got this info. I’ve been looking for it everywhere, but just can’t remember where I saw it - from a newspaper? An article online? Definitely not from a blog though.

Anyway, it is about a study on how dependent we are on technology. One item there states that a large percentage of computer-users in a certain country (it is an Asian country, but not RP) do not know what their neighbors do for a living. But they do know quite a lot about the personal lives of friends they chat with online.

The reason why I can’t forget that info is because that is soo true for me!
Continue reading ‘who are the people in your neighborhood’ »

Finally, I’m going to see my girl friends from CFC tomorrow! It’s been months since we last got together. It’s definitely going to be one big blabfest.

Hmm… We will meet around 1:30pm in Galleria… I’ll leave my son in Playroom with my ever-reliable Ate… I’ll bring the light-weight stroller for my baby girl…

Pretty much how we looked like when we went to Shang to see my college friends last week… I’m beginning to see a pattern here…

I admit, I had no more intentions of going to the get-together last Thursday if not for the phone call I received from Beth, our friend from Canada. The last time I drove through EDSA was about 2 years ago. With a driving instructor. Most of all, I dreaded the idea of having to deal with my son who easily gets bored now and is sooo full of energy. Anyway, I went, with my whole troop: a baby, a preschooler and my help. And oh, EDSA wasn’t so bad.

*****

We were to meet at National Bookstore. Good, I thought, because my son likes that place. We arrived an hour early so my whole gang went to Kidz’ Station first. When Sunshine called to tell me she was already there, it took me forever to get my son from the 4th floor to the 3rd floor, and an even longer time from the 3rd floor to the 2nd floor…. Until we finally arrived at the bookstore. By the time I met Sunshine and Beth, I was so disoriented. It’s kind of hard shifting my emotions from exasperation to happiness. So when they gushed and told me how lucky I must be to have my “angels,” I wasn’t able to agree immediately. It was hard imagining my son who is now trying to assert his own agenda in e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g as an angel after the arguments we just had… in each floor.

*****
Beth had not changed. She lost maybe a couple of pounds. She still talks the some way. She still listens to us with the same facial expression and tilt of the head that means we have her complete attention. She still closes her eyes, purses her lips and nods when she approves of something we have said.

*****

Oh my gosh,…. I cannot remember what we talked about during our first hour together. I was so busy making sure that my son ate and was busy with puzzles and Ninang’s gifts. Then my contact lens got stuck at the back of my eyes (eeew! I know..). But oh, I remember thinking… gone are the days when I can enjoy a good conversation and a good meal with friends. It was hard focusing on what they were talking about while holding my baby and making sure my motor-driven son has not been picked up by a stranger.

*****

Peace finally came when my help took my son on an “escapade” around the mall. I was all ears when Beth gave advice on how to migrate to Canada, her and her hubby’s stories of hardship during their first year there. Of course, there was talk about where our old friends are, how some have changed but most of them have not. We cheered at our successful friends and shook our heads over a lost one. We laughed when we remembered our old “immature” selves and finally declared that we are no longer the same girls. We talked about our plans (a wedding after finishing graduate studies for Sunshine, no coming back to the Philippines for Beth, and no more children for me!). We talked about the loves of our lives, at which point the words being used were God-given, gifts, soul mates…. It got me thinking that my son may have overdosed on vitamins, but how I love him. And my cute baby girl. And their father. Na-miss ko tuloy ang asawa ko.

*****

It was a tiring day for me. After creating a minor traffic jam while I maneuvered my small car out of the parking space we all went straight to hubby’s office so I would no longer drive back home. I talked nonstop about my friends, while thanking God for this family. It saddens me that it will take another long time before we can meet again. Who knows when Beth will come back for a visit. Ninang is at the opposite end of metro manila.

So… yeah…. it was fun. Because if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be wishing for another one

I guess one sure sign that it’s been… quite a long time since we’ve left school is a grand batch or class reunion.

My high school batchmates are currently making arrangements for our batch reunion this September. And a few minutes ago, I received an email from our class president in college about our 10th anniversary reunion, also this September. Gosh, it’s been 10 years this September since I graduated from college. A decade. Grabe!

Another “small-scale” reunion will be held next week. A dear college friend from Canada will be coming here and she requested a couple of beloved friends (and I am one of them, ha!) for a get-together. I would loove to go, but the thing is… it has turned out to be a big logistics problem for me since it will be held in sosy Makati. I would have to bring my son, who happens to be unqualified to be left alone in Kids at Work because he’s only 4. He would have to be accompanied by my helper, but that would mean I would have to bring the baby. So I would have to bring a car. But I have noo idea how to navigate through the streets of Makati, I’m afraid I would be going around in circles in search of a parking space. And oh, I’m not yet very good at parking. And another thing, I would be coming from Nova. Given the way I drive it would take me around 2 hours to get to Makati, and another 2 to get home. The kids will surely get fidgety.

Would be more convenient if it would be held in Ortigas instead… Yeah… I’m making paramdam….!

We spent the weekend in Antipolo, where we had our 2nd Marriage Enrichment Retreat (MER2) which was organized by our chapter in CFC. It was nice hearing the speakers talk of the trials they faced in their marriage, and how they survived them. Almost all of the speakers are as old as my parents, and it was really kilig seeing the “oldies” talk about their spouses’ endearing qualities. We all knew it wasn’t just for show; we could see in their faces that they are all still very much in love with each other despite the salt and pepper hair and wrinkles and bellies. Makes all of us participants (who have been married 5-10 years) aim to become like them.

The participants, most of them are our close friends, too.

The final activity had each couple face each other, pray for the other, and say whatever they wanted to say to each other. It was a very intimate moment; hubby and I were in a tight embrace while we whispered our prayers. I couldn’t help crying as I listened to hubby’s prayers for me, which was really a declaration of how much love he has for me. It warmed my heart to know that every little thing I did for him and our kid(s) never went unnoticed, and was in fact very much appreciated much more than I ever knew. I fell more in love with him, and I knew it was mutual. The whole thing affirmed what we have always known - hubby and I are mfeo.

After that, the speaker encouraged us to demonstrate “PDA” ; kiss, hug each other as much as we want to, short of “doing it”. I thought I would feel self-conscious but hey! we are married, therefore privileged to be as intimate as much we want to. And well, it was part of the retreat. Ang sarap! I swear! Maybe because love was literally overflowing, and of course, what we just said to each other made the hugs and kisses much, much more meaningful. There was this feeling that God was actually happy to see us PDA-ing. The older couples, the speakers and service team who are in their 50’s, also participated in our version of Lovapalooza and it was really kilig just watching them.

Hubby, son and I attended a Christmas party of our new household. “Household” in this case, means a group of people who are members of the ministries of Couples for Christ who gather together weekly or at any time agreed upon by the members, to pray together and to hold discussions on various matters on a spiritual basis.

I was kind of apprehensive at first because we are new to the group. There has been some reorganization over a year ago, and we were separated from our old group. Hubby and I became inactive for over a year and has just decided to be back in the fold, this time in this new household.

On the way to the party venue, I was kind of bracing myself for a boring night. You see, this was the first time I was going to meet them. I do not know anyone, except for the household leaders who most likely would be very busy. Hubby, on the other hand, has met them only once, when he attended one meeting alone because I was too weak to join them. I was also aware that this household has been together since that reorg, so they must be very close by now. I acknowledged the fact that it might take some time before I could be comfortable with them.

But to my surprise, almost everybody went out of their way to be nice to us. They didn’t treat us like they were walking on eggshells around us so to speak. Thus, it was easy for us to warm up to them, too. In no time at all, we were joining the banter and the laughter like any old member of the group.

I admit I was saddened by our separation from our former household. You see, they somehow found a way to stick together in one group, while we had no choice but to join this one. But change is something we all have to face. While I miss my old group so much, I think we’re going to like it here. This change is not so bad for us after all. In fact, I foresee strong friendships.

This is the family picture, a common scenario in a Christmas household party. Note that my son is not with me. He is wearing a red shirt and blue maong shorts, cuddling next to another mom. My son must have liked our new friends too, that he found it comfortable to sit with her in what was supposed to be a family picture :-D. My husband is not in the photo because he was holding the camera.

Boy, it was a lot of fun!

I honestly didn’t expect to have a raving good time when I went to our high school reunion at Gerry’s Grill last July 24. It was raining hard, I had worries about my son staying up too late when he and my husband went to the mall after dropping me off to the restaurant, I had worries that I would fall asleep on the table since it is against my policy to sleep later than 10 pm, and more worries about not being able to wake up early Sunday for a jog in UP and other errands.

But it was so worth it. And no, I didn’t drop off to sleep because I was busy laughing my head off. In fact, I would’ve been willing to stay longer. But my husband and son were with me, and they had stayed up way longer than I asked them to.

I marveled at how time made my batch mates more beautiful inside and out. They were all beaming with happiness, pride and more confidence. It would’ve been more fun had we been able to freely mingle with each other, no long tables or chairs to restrict movement, but I think that paved the way to plan for another reunion someday soon.

I had to leave them for a while to sneak a peek at the other group waiting for me within the abscbn compound, my classmates from college. It was a smaller group, but I knew I missed a lot of their fun when I entered the room.

It was at that time that I actually wished I could divide myself into two. I knew my high school friends had already noticed my empty chair as my college friends talked almost incessantly. I groaned inwardly when my cell phone rang and saw my husband’s name on the screen, calling me.  I almost felt bad that my husband and son had run out of choices where to spend the rest of the night (or more accurately, the early morning) and they had to fetch me. Sigh, my seat had not been warmed yet, I knew there were more chats to be shared with the high school group back there, but my husband and son were already waiting outside the compound.

And to think I almost didn’t go. Days before the reunion I was actually contemplating on not going because I had A LOT to do on Sunday.

And I have found some people I’d like to have a closer relationship with. Maybe the passage of time has made us more in tune with each other’s wave lengths. Or maybe it’s just me waxing sentimental. In any case, I sure would work on being closer to the people I’ve laid my eyes on to become my friends in its real definition.

And I have the reunion to thank for that.