Bullying 101?
This story I got from “Binhi,” which is my son’s school book for the subject, Filipino.
(You may click on the pictures to enlarge). The title of the story is Kumain Nang Wasto (Eat Right). It is about a young boy, named Bobot, who gets teased by his playmates because he is very thin. They call him “Bobot Payatot.”
So Bobot runs to his mom, and sobs, “Tinutukso na naman po nila akong payatot.” (They tease me as Payatot.)
The mom says, ”Pero alam mo naman kung bakit ka payat, diba?” (You already know why you are thin, right?)
Bobot then admits he has poor eating habits. He doesn’t eat vegetables and fruits, he doesn’t drink milk, he loads on junk food.
“Kaya ka payat na payat. Sana’y makinig ka sa akin, ” his mom says. (That’s why you’re are very thin. I hope you will listen to me.)
And so “Malungkot na natulog si Bobot“ - but of course. You get mercilessly teased by your friends and your mom blames you for it.
Then Bobot wakes up in the middle of the night crying. His mom asks him why.
“Hu!Hu!Hu! Mas marami nang bata ang nanunukso sa akin sa aking panaginip.” (Now there are more kids teasing me in my dreams.)
Seems to me that the boy may be traumatized.
His valiant mom answers, “Aba, madali yan! Basta’t kainin mo ang masusustansiyang pagkaing inihahanda ko para sa iyo…. At hindi ka na tutuksuhin ng iyong mga kalaro.” (That’s easy. Just eat all the nutritious food I prepare for you.. And your playmates will never tease you again.)
And so I reached boiling point, aghast at how this book, a school book for preparatory students, had justified bullying.
While I understand the author’s message, that is, to encourage kids to make proper food choices, I doubt if any parent will agree with the author that that is a sure way to make bullies stop poking fun at a child.
While the author may reason that we should focus instead on the title of the story, that is Kumain Nang Wasto, it is impossible not to even mention the bullies, as they are the primary reason why the boy is being encouraged to eat well. “Hindi ka na tutuksuhin ng iyong mga kalaro.”
Even worse, the discussion questions are not all about eating the right foods. They are about whether or not the boy fought back. Did the family decide to move house!
At this point, I decided to just dictate the answers to my son, which I never ever did until now. I just couldn’t find a way to discuss this story with him without giving the idea that laughing at another person’s size is ok.
I tried googling the author’s name but I couldn’t find her anywhere. Authors of school books usually print their credentials in the book, but this one has none of that.
Aileen Apolo:
Bullying is a very serious matter and parents play a huge role in making sure their children don’t bully and get bullied. You are right, the book should have found another way to teach children how to eat properly.
LC: i agree, aileen. so i opted to skip this lesson. there are many ways to teach eating right anyway.
[Reply]
27 February 2008, 5:26 pmfeng:
hmmm, sinong publisher nyan? sana nanam hindi Vibal.
LC: JOES
since my son started schooling, I’ve been conscious too in evaluating learning materials prescribed by the school. I have to agree that some learning materials are just way below standards, so it’s really a dilemma for parents like us who, often than not, supplement our children with what were thought in school.
and naku, hindi lang sa mga learning materials ang problema. even TV advertisements, dami din. kumusta naman ang value formation dun diba?
LC: i agree, feng. my son’s other books have grammatical and spelling errors, e basic english lang naman yun. kailangan talaga vigilant tayo. and yes, those advertisements, que horrror!
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27 February 2008, 9:35 pmEm Dy:
The author may have another book in mind. This time about obese children being bullied. The lesson then would be eat in moderation. He he.
You’re right. The author could have focused instead on the health disadvantages of malnutrition and not use peer pressure as the excuse to change. Peer pressure may in fact have a role in children’s feeding habits.
LC: yes emdy. there’s always the story of a child getting tummy aches from having too much softdrinks. and yes, peer/societal pressure does not necessarily promote good eating habits.
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27 February 2008, 11:10 pmMitch:
Hmmmm……weird. I was thinking the whole time, pag kumain ba ng madami, hindi na agad tutuksuhin? And worse, kung tumaba, hindi ba tutuksuhin? Bullies pick on anything. They won’t stop unless they get it themselves.
LC: my thoughts exactly! hindi ba naisip ng author ito, who is supposed to be a smart person??
Sana ibang example na lang ginawa nila. This makes it very vague — kahit kelan, hindi justifiable i-bully at mam-bully.
[Reply]
28 February 2008, 2:03 amtikey:
NUng ako tinutukso nila akong mataba. Keber ko kc cute nman ako…
LC: better for guardians to instill in children the proper attitude towards teasing, like the upbeat one you had and still have.
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28 February 2008, 8:42 amannamanila:
I wonder if there are school lessons on how to cope with bullies. I taught my children to fight back. but never to offend without (sufficient) provocation.
Hey, I came here directly after reading your comment to my post — half expecting a story on your momentous day. But no dice!
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28 February 2008, 12:23 pmnona:
Naikwento sa akin ng daughter ko when she was in grade 3 , her fat classmate told her that she would better end up her life kasi lagi daw tinutukso ng tabatsoy…see? tsk tsk…
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28 February 2008, 12:44 pmchesca (exskindiver):
hi cess,
i am about to go to sleep–
but i thought i would say hello first.
i’ll be back in the morning to give this a proper read.
this looks interesting to me since i was always teased for being payatot myself.
~chesca
[Reply]
29 February 2008, 10:58 amchesca (exskindiver):
hi cess,
you are absolutely right!
what on earth!?
how this book got published is beyond me.
(baka self published)
uhm…actually–what nga ba is the name of the publisher?
if their screening process is that bad even i might be able to get them to publish a children’s book i wrote…masulatan nga…
LC: JOES.
your book deserves the best ha!:D
hahaha, patawa ka
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1 March 2008, 6:24 amev:
totoo yan..and sometimes books like this are not only intended for kids their age to learn proper attitude..adults have to be reminded too, bullying or right eating habit, either way..hehe!
this is a very good filipino book that teaches good values…thanks for sharing Cess!
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1 March 2008, 12:01 pmwendy:
Mommy Cess… Happy Saturday! *wink*
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1 March 2008, 6:49 pmann:
Hay…problema ko rin yang mga bully na yan sa school, buti na lang si Josh madaling pagpaliwanagan at hindi nya lang pinapansin. Pero worried na rin talaga ako sa health ni Josh, lalo syang lumalaki.
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2 March 2008, 1:09 amAiza:
Super off topic, I have a tag for you on my site. Have a blessed sunday!
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2 March 2008, 1:51 pmRach (Heart of Rachel):
Thank you for sharing story. I was a victim of a bully back in grade school. Here’s my story.
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2 March 2008, 4:34 pmjulie:
We have that book too,I mean something like that entitled Bagong Binhi. I don’t remember anything negative naman with that book because the stories are about honesty, cultural and religious differences, helping those in need positive para sa akin. Tsaka yung mga character na me ginawang masama, nagsisisi, either narealize yung maling ginawa o napagsabihan ng guro.
Or baka iba ang interpretasyon naming mag-ina
LC: hindi bagong binhi yung sa amin, magkaiba siguro tayo (lumang binhi siguro to, hahaha!). there were only about 4 or 5 stories, and while they are supposed to promote “values,” the objective is, i believe, reading comprehension.
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3 March 2008, 10:41 pmKongkong622:
There should have been 2 different stories. One on eating properly and one on handling bullies. You can’t justify one story by using the other. Magkaibang values ang pinag-uusapan eh. Anubayan?
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4 March 2008, 8:06 amauee:
I have a friend who used to work for a publishing house who closed a deal with DECS (years ago). She was shocked at the corruption. Books not meant for Filipinos audience are pushed through anyway. Most of the books are not edited and are not even revised, that’s why there are so many untruths even in our history books.
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7 March 2008, 5:06 amallan:
Most of these stories are poorly written. I remember our Filipino class had a book with stories like that. No one took them seriously, not even the teachers.
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11 March 2008, 2:33 pmlazarus:
i hate bullying. i threw a punch at someone at school because of it. but that kid later on became a very good friend.
Iba din yata pagkagawa nya sa story. Some kids are thin not because they don’t eat well.
[Reply]
13 March 2008, 2:59 pm