occupation: SAHM

I was in a convenience store, enumerating reasons why I shouldn’t go to the birthday party of my officemate, Kay.

It was New Year’s Day. A family day.

And a friend who was supposed to be with me, just paged me that she couldn’t go to Kay’s party. She was somewhere far away with her folks.

So I went out of the store, hailed a jeepney, and was about to board when I heard a woman speak to me.

“Pumunta ka. Naroon ang magiging boyfriend mo.” (Go there. Your future boyfriend is there.)

I immediately looked behind me, and saw that I was alone in that part of the street.

“Sorry, Manong, “ I apologized to the driver and walked away. I stood on the side street, trying to calm my shaking nerves. 

“Sino ka? (Who are you?),” I called out. But of course, there was no answer.

Who, what, was that? I had to make sense of this. Maybe somebody was talking to someone else.

But no, there was no one else around but me.

Was it my imagination mocking my boyfriend-less state? No, it couldn’t be. Someone did talk to me, loud and clear. Besides, I was embracing my singlehood with relish.

Should I believe what I just heard? Or should I use my head and go home? I ought to be home.

But I was already curious if the promise of my fairy godmother would come true (well, it was a woman’s voice). I sure would appreciate a boyfriend.

And so I raised my hand to get another jeepney, this time to Kay’s house.

****

I had to control the urge to smack myself on the head.

Silly me for thinking that was my fairy godmother. Silly me for believing there was indeed someone who said those garbage at all. Because there I was, in the middle of the most boooring party ever.

Sure, the other guests had a blast. Especially since everyone knew everyone else. Me? I knew not a soul.

Then, Kay introduced me to Will.

Sure, Will was nice and friendly, and looked really interested in me. But I just couldn’t feel anything for him, even though he seemed like a nice guy, of the right age, was already planning on going out with me and I was very available. No, no.

Eventually I got so bored my eyes were getting teary from stifling yawns. “I have to go, “ I told Kay.

“Can you wait for 15 minutes? Will and I will bring you home, “ she said.

I needed to be alone. I had to come to terms with my frustration. But “This is for Kay,” I said to myself and nodded at her.

Then the gate of her house opened, and she rushed to welcome her new visitors. Five guys, her classmates from high school I later learned, went inside to greet her.

***

The promise had arrived.

Time stood still. The chatter of voices and karaoke music began to fade. There was silence, and then there was no one else, but him and me.

Looking into his eyes felt like coming home after a long journey. Like being reunited with that piece of myself that I didn’t know was missing.

The myth, that God has someone in the world  just perfect for each one of us, that was true. There was my perfect someone, staring back at me.

Will just had to shatter that moment. “Do you know them?,” he asked.

“Uh.. huh? What?”

“Do you know them?,” he repeated.

“Uh.. no. I have never met them, ” I answered. 

“Then why were you smiling at them?”

“I was?” I had no idea I had a smile on my face. “Uh.. Well, I just like smiling at people.”

Whatever.

Suddenly, I was on a mission – to introduce myself to this guy. Never mind that I didn’t have experience on introducing myself to guys. Never mind that Will might get hurt when I ditch him. Never mind that I would come across as too forward to the guests.

I just knew he would not get turned off. I was certain he wanted to know my name too. If I could just get Will off my heels…

“Let’s go, Cess. We’re bringing you home now, “ Kay said.

Oh. Now?

Alright.

***

I went home with a heavy heart.

I wasn’t crazy after all. Indeed, I met someone I’d want to be my boyfriend in the party.

But we could never be. I didn’t even get his name. And I was too dyahi to tell Kay what was going on.

I wasn’t able to use all those lessons I read in Cosmo. Because the truth was, I didn’t have the guts to go to him.

I was afraid to get laughed at, by him, by his friends. I was afraid of rejection. I had never done something so bold.

But then, I had never met a guy who stirred up feelings in me that were so strong, so sure, so true.

Why didn’t I just do it? I should have taken the risk.

He was the one. But I blew it. Sorry, fairy godmother.

I couldn’t believe I was getting heartbroken over a guy whose name I didn’t even know.

But there I was, resigned to the fact that he was gone. I would never love again.

I was going to die an old maid. A lonely, old maid.

 ***

After 11 days, I was in Kay’s bedroom, a nervous wreck. I was about to go on a date. A blind date. All I knew was his name and where he worked.

Kay was outside talking with the guy she set me up with. His idea, Kay said. He bugged her into arranging a date for him with me.

It could very well be a disaster, but I had a feeling everything was going to be just fine. I took one last look in the mirror, shrugged off the fact that I forgot my perfume, and opened the door.

And then I remembered my fairy godmother.

Because her promise was waiting for me in the living room.

***

This is my entry for Noemi’s Love Struck Writing Contest.

Those are not their real names. I have forgotten Will’s real name.

I swear I heard a voice. A woman’s voice, around 40-50 years old, that’s why I thought I should christen her my fairy godmother. 

I could still remember how stupid I must have looked after I heard her. I was searching for her and calling out to her. Actually, I even asked out loud, “Ano kamo? Pakiulit!”

I confided this to only one friend who remains skeptical to this day. So I won’t be surprised if you tell me you don’t believe me.

But my imagination or not, it happened. He later became my boyfriend, and we now have 2 kids.

I never “heard” her again. I wonder if she will ever come back.

***

Edited: February 24, 2008.

Lauren, Noemi’s daughter, has this to say regarding this entry: Her love story has a great hook and an interesting twist. I love how the ending leaves a lot to the imagination.

So Noemi gave me a prize. 

My heartfelt thanks to Noemi, Lauren and to all who read this post for your wonderful comments. You have no idea how great it feels to have people outside of my family and friends telling me I don’t suck so much :)