weakness
I believe I don’t get offended easily. If I do, the offense is great. And then,
1. I find it difficult to be calm and graceful when I get stark raving mad.
2. I may have forgiven, but I just can’t forget. When I remember, I sometimes forget I have forgiven.
3. Sometimes I can’t forgive at all.
Forgiveness doesn’t come to me easily. It takes enormous effort to choose to forgive and to forgive again, and I have to do so because I want to be free.
Image taken from here.
Rowena:
Hi Cess, same here I don’t get offended easily, but when I do, my enemies better hide asap…he he. And I can easily forgive and forget…and move on.
LC: i admire people like you rowena. it’s easier that way, and more peaceful.
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19 November 2007, 4:24 pmtoni:
“Forgive and forget” is really difficult! And I don’t really agree with it. The only way to move on is to learn from a situation. How can you move on without reference to the past? Just my opinion.
LC: i agree. esp the part where i’m supposed to forget. sometimes though, i need to choose to forgive for my own sanity. though i cant forget, i (with a looot of effort) need to forgive again when i remember.
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19 November 2007, 4:50 pmjho:
I may have forgiven the person BUT definitely I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET. Chances are the relationship will not be the same as it was.
LC: yes, the relationship will not be the same. either it’s ruined or has become deeper. that depends on the direction we choose.
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19 November 2007, 5:08 pmRach (Heart of Rachel):
They say it’s easier to forgive than to forget and I think it’s true. Sometimes the mind is willing to forgive but the heart finds it hard to forget. I think it’s difficult to forget especially when there is too much emotion involved.
LC: ah oo, tama ka. the offense per se we may have learned to shrug off but we continue to hang on/remember what we have felt at the time of the offense. i so agree that that’s one of the hardest things to forget, what the person made you feel.
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19 November 2007, 11:53 pmmanilenya:
ako?
parang madali akong magpatawad base sa obserbasyon ko sa sarili ko … mas madali akong magpatawad sa mga taong parang walang nangyari..pero kailangan ipakita nya sa akin na nagsorry sya sa ginawang bad sa akin…hindi kailangan ng salitang “sorry” kailangang lang nararamdaman ko yung kabababan ng loob.
LC: yes i agree. minsan hindi na kelangang sabihin ang sorry kasi nakikita naman sa gawa.
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20 November 2007, 9:59 amann:
Hi Cess! Same with Jho, I easily forgive but never forget.
LC: youre really a nice person ann, kasi forgiveness is easy for you. forgetting it, well, it’s not easy for most of us anyway.
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20 November 2007, 10:36 amchateau:
To forgive - it’s for divine beings ata, hehe, as the saying goes… I find it hard to FORGET esp when the offense is too great.. If it’s small stuff though, i can easily let it go.
LC: sabi nga, dont sweat the small stuff. kasi nga naman kung pati maliliit na bagay kikimkimin pa, how stressful!
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20 November 2007, 12:48 pmmitch:
Gosh, pareho tayo. I find so hard to forgive, but I believe I have good reasons for that. Dahil mataas ang tolerance ko bago magalit, e talaga namang sobra-sobra na siguro kaya ako nagalit. And then again, if I forgive, I don’t forget. Pano naman matututo kung kinalimutan na diba? Pikon na pikon pa naman ako dun sa parang nang-ga-g@go, alam nang naging problema yun, uulitin pa. But yeah, I try to move on. With or without those people.
LC: oh yes, mitch, yung paulit-ulit lang ang offense, we have to move on even without them. papangit lang tayo if we wait for them to change
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20 November 2007, 1:46 pmchesca (exskindiver):
this is not so much a weakness, cess.
it is not bad to forgive but NOT forget–so as not to get burnt again.
having the ability to resume a relationship after being wronged is a STRENGTH.
The decision to move on in order to be free is also a strength.
It is all good.
LC: the process doesnt come to me easily. and i guess having been reprimanded many times about it, other than the fact that the Bible says we have to forgive seventy times seven, have made me believe this is a weakness, this inability to forgive whether immediately or after some time. eventually i’ll realize that carrying all the baggage is getting too old and tiring, and at that point i’ll decide to move on. i take comfort that as you say, that’s a strength.
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21 November 2007, 12:02 amMommyBa:
We’re quite alike in this aspect. I don’t find it hard to forgive especially kung tapos na yung tampo or galit ko. Ako naman kasi I rarely get mad - tipong, sobra na talaga pag umabot sa point na nagalit na ‘ko because I’m such a monster when I get mad. To forget is a different thing for me. I guess there’s always this aspect that I find it hard to forget because, just like what Rach said, there’s always too much emotion involved in my relationships with people. I give it my all kasi every single time, be it with friends or partners. ‘Di na ‘ko natuto!
LC: yes, we’re having difficutly accept not just what the offender has done to us, but also the fact that the offender can do what he/she did. then we begin to have difficulty trusting again.
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21 November 2007, 5:53 amghee:
its not that easy to forgive…but yes,being free ease us.
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21 November 2007, 8:53 pmjulie:
Same here, Cess. i can forgive, but not forget. Things that has happened a long time ago, are sometimes forgotten but there are times that I can still talk about what happened like it just happened yesterday. Sometimes, mahirap, marami akong dalang burdens, especially when I remember.
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22 November 2007, 6:52 pmrazberry:
same here…. i can forgive but forget, nah…sobrang nagagalit lang ako at naooffend pag sobra sobra na, yung tipong to the nth level, kaya, pag ganon na…let go na, hayaan na lang…but hindi na pedeng ibalik ang dati, ang nasira na at ang nagkalamat na… maybe in time….
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24 November 2007, 4:56 pmauee:
tough one… Ako I can forgive and move on, but I never forget. I remember what happened, what caused me distress, but thankfully there’s no pain. I don’t think it’s possible to entirely forget as in erase it from your memory.
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30 November 2007, 6:45 am