who are the people in your neighborhood
Tsk. I have totally forgotten from which article I got this info. I’ve been looking for it everywhere, but just can’t remember where I saw it - from a newspaper? An article online? Definitely not from a blog though.
Anyway, it is about a study on how dependent we are on technology. One item there states that a large percentage of computer-users in a certain country (it is an Asian country, but not RP) do not know what their neighbors do for a living. But they do know quite a lot about the personal lives of friends they chat with online.
The reason why I can’t forget that info is because that is soo true for me!
I know that the family in front of us has a business, but I don’t what type, and I don’t where it is. Three of the families nearby have their mothers as the breadwinners, but I have no idea where they work. I just see them saying goodbye to their children in the morning while the dads wash cars or feed dogs.
We found out just recently that our neighbors think my husband is a CPA. Not! We have no idea where they got that.
And we’ve been living here for 7 1/2 years.
Vastly different from my mom’s social life in her neighborhood when I was a little girl. I know she and our neighbors knew each other quite well. She knew what the fathers in the community did for a living, and where. My younger siblings have at least one of the neighbors for a godparent. I’m sure she also knew some bits of very, very personal information. Wink! Wink! Very Wisteria Lane.
My husband and I, on the other hand, are not really the type of people who gets out of our house to chat with our neighbors. Sure, we say hi, we do small talk, we get invited to their parties, we invite them to ours.
But me or my husband going out of our way to talk about our lives as we trim the lawn? Naah. It’s not us.
Quite the opposite of who I am when I visit online homes - your blogs, your profiles on Friendster, Multiply, et al. I have never met many of you in person.
But I do know that this one friendly Mama has an engineer husband, a thriving food business, and very smart kids, the eldest of which is a spitting image of her.
That this cute girl who everyone will mistake for a colegiala works in an Air Force and sorry to you guys, is happily married.
That this girl is getting stressed because her husband’s papers are taking too long to be processed, thus he can’t be with her.
Etcetera, etcetera.
And to them I have shared what I do, my woes, my dreams. That my husband is not a CPA.
An old friend is currently staying with her relatives, and I’ve been begging her to stay with them. But of course not, she has to go back to her real home, where her family is.
The reason why I want her to stay with her relatives- and this is a crazy reason, I’m warning you - is that the internet connection over there is way, way better than where she really lives. For the past week, it has been so easy for us to talk, rant, exchange gossip, offer moral support. All we have to do is send instant messages.
Most reunions with old friends now begin with “bumping” with each other online. I had a get-together with my friends from grade school. It’s been at least a decade, I think, since we last saw each other, so we talked from 9 in the evening till 6 am! Yup, nonstop yakking till the sun rose.
And it all started with Friendster and later, YM.
I bet it’s not only me. Many people have met new friends, rekindled friendships with long-lost friends, remained close to best friends or have become close to previously just-regular friends thanks to the internet. But unless people have their next-door neighbor’s email addy, they are just on a hi-hello-how’s-the-weather basis with them.
lazarus:
My wife and I lived in the same apartment for almost 3 years now yet I don’t know the names of our neighbors. They’re way way older than us and they are mostly not talking to each other, too.
It’s very different from the way I grew up wherein we know all our neighbors, befriend their kids and get invited in their salo-salo. Probably it’s the fences, visible and invisible.
LC: well said, lazarus. visible and invisible fences put up by almost everyone to protect each one’s privacy.
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28 July 2007, 3:20 pmRach:
Hi Cess. I can really relate to your post. We’ve been living in this village since year 2000 but I only know a handful of people. I rarely go out and mingle with neighbors. But a few months ago, one of the officers of the homeowners association went to our house to invite me and my husband to be part of the newsletter team. We accepted and I gained a few friends in the village. But ironically, I still don’t know the names of the people living across our our house.
I don’t make friends easily but when I do it’s usually for keeps. The friends I had back in grade school, high school and college are still my good friends until now.
LC: glad to know you were able to befriend people in your neighborhood, rach, but i understand youre not knowing the names of the people closest to you. you know, i found out the kids’ names of our neighbors to our right because we hear their playmates calling them. ganon lang
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28 July 2007, 4:07 pmjho:
Noong bata pa ako hanggang sa magcollege ako, halos lahat ng tao dito sa village kilala ko… ngayon, ewan ko ba. Marami nang bagong mukha. Hindi na kasi ako pala-labas ng bahay. At dumami na talaga ang tao dito. Dati kasi Phase 2 lang ang may tao, ngayon hanggang Phase 7 ata may nakatira na.
Kanina nga lang, may ini-refer na dentist sa akin ang aking mother, dito lang sa village nakatira, ASUS! hindi ko alam kung saan yung bahay. Also, when I was giving out invitations para sa party ng son ko, nagulat ako kasi yung pala bahay ng friend ko, nirenovate na at muntik na akong lumagpas ng bahay nila.
Nakikita at nakakausap ko lang mga barkada ko dito during special occasions. Other than that, sa friendster na lang or YM or myspace. At least, K.I.T pa din kami kahit paano.
LC: oo sa amin din, marami na ring hindi kilala ang mama ko, kasi may mga nagtayuang mga bagong apartments, so maraming bagong lipat. my mom by now has lost interest in socializing with the newcomers, hehehe.
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28 July 2007, 6:26 pmnoemi:
<p>I think I am excused. I just moved in last march. Technology is so amazing. I saw for myself how Lauren’s 3rd grade classmate now based in Canada found her again through friendster. Another one from New York found her naman in Multiply. That’s why I keep accounts in social networking sites so I can be easily found by long lost friends. And then again,it might not work out because most women my age are technophobes.</p>
LC: hopefully your former schoolmates might change their minds about technology. it’s everywhere, they can’t avoid it anymore. we thought my dad was a hopeless case when it comes to computers, pero ngayon, he exchanges emails with clients and has made a blog about his business
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29 July 2007, 1:03 ampepe:
it’s worst here in Sg. high rise living is kind of “mind-ur-own-business-scratch-ur-own-galis” thing.
LC: ah, ya, heard about that. if i’m not mistaken the study was done in singapore. not very sure… but i guess we dont need a study about it huh?
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29 July 2007, 11:18 amKongkong622:
Hi Cess!! It really helps that my entire village is on one short stretch of road. The community is so small and everyone is so “towny”. Even the kids are “mini-townies”. We’ve been here for 6 years and everyone knows everyone. It also helps that I’m medyo chikadora. Smile dito, wave diyan. Masaya dito
LC: wow, that’s great. mas gusto ko nga yan, it’s like one big family. pag nagka-problema isang baranggay ang tutulong. very Filipino.
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29 July 2007, 1:31 pmFerdz:
Before, our neighborhood used to be really close, but things have changed now. Although there is still that chit chat and small talk when we see each other by the stairs, we don’t mingle that much anymore. Maybe because we’re already too occupied or busy nowdays.
LC: oo nga. i was told by my lola (God bless her soul) that life is so fast-paced now compared to the way it was before. that’s a factor too.
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29 July 2007, 5:18 pmmousey:
dahil sa technology walang nang nangangapit bahay gaya ng dati heheh… dito nga sa obituary na lang ng newspaper nalalaman na patay na pala ang neybors nila.
LC: hahaha! sa obit na lang ba? dito naman, malalaman at malalaman ko kasi dagsa ang mga tao hanggang kalye
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29 July 2007, 11:48 pmann:
ehem..ehem.. extra ba kami rito…hehehe.
The people in my neighborhood? Merong indian, arabo, egyptian,pakistani..etc. Advantage lang ay di kami nag-aaway-away kasi di naman kami nag-uusap-usap…hehehe. Kaya buti na lang may internet at blog.
LC: o diba?
ah dito naman, sigurado naman akong mga pinoy ang kapitbahay ko - joke! anyway, yan siguro ang isa pang factor sa inyo, iba-iba kasi ng lahi kaya may mga invisible barriers. not that you dont want to socialize, pero sabi nga, birds of the same feather flock together diba.
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30 July 2007, 8:16 amsoloops:
So true. I know more about the PMN moms than the mommies who live in our street. Hanggang hi hello lang ako then pasok ng bahay. My husband is the more neighborly type. Faith got that trait from him, that’s why it’s amazing that when we pass through streets, even those far from our street, people would call out “hi, Faith”, and she would smile and wave back.
Probably, I took after my mama, although she would make exceptions for her co-teachers who would exchange news about bonuses, etc., while tending their gardens.
LC: haha! im sure Faith will be very popular in school
hay naku, ako rin, mas marami pa akong nalalaman sa mga taga-PMN kesa sa sarili kong kapitbahay.
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30 July 2007, 9:34 amTikey:
Huhuu ako diko masyadong kilala tong neighbor namin, kc ung mga pusa nila tinitirador ko kc dinudumihan ang mga sasakyan namin.. hehe ang bad kono? pero dont wori sanay nakong ma stressed khit malayu sa piolo ko! hehehe! muahh!
LC: hahaha! wala akong masabi sa iyo, kwela ka talaga!
teka - may tirador dyan?
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30 July 2007, 1:15 pmmitch:
Guilty! Although we have made small talk and are somehow familiar with those in the neighborhood, it doesn’t get any deeper than that. I think for about a couple of months after we moved here, we never saw anybody else than the people next door. And them, only because they have kids going to school in the mornings, so halos sabay kami naghahatid.
On the other hand, hindi naman ako na-homesick kasi my online community went with me. Ok na din.
LC: hahaha! same boat! ganyan lang din ang relationship ko with my neighbors. and me too,it’s fine by me bec i have many friends online anyway
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30 July 2007, 2:32 pmsoloops:
Oops, I forgot to mention, the househelp know more about our neighbors than we do. Oftentimes, I would hear stories from them, about what this and that neighbor does for a living. However, as soon as I hear any innuendo as to the comings and goings of our neighbors, I interrupt and warn them to mind their own business.
LC: hahaha! i knooow! you know im amazed kasi sila naman, it’s so easy for them to be friends. first time nilang magkasama-sama sa isang children’s party, o habang naga-antay ng alaga nila sa school, o habang nagwawalis ng harapan ng bahay, hala! best friends na sila after 5 minutes
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30 July 2007, 3:53 pmRowena:
Hi Cess, my hubby just know the old-timers in the village bec. they’re the few first homeowners here. When I got here, I get to know the ones in our left side, right side and across our home. Having a pulitiko blood, instantly I know the tricycle drivers also, taho and corn vendors, the manangs of sari-sari stores, the car mechanics, staff of the shops around and the security guards. I feel more secured knowing them.
LC: oo nga, yours is a well-known family so getting to know other people is inevitable, even part of the job. mas ok nga yan, you know a lot of people who can help you in times of trouble.
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30 July 2007, 9:20 pmjulie:
We don’t really associate with the neighbors except with Ate N who owns the sari-sari store across the street. And the couple who sell viands. Plus a tricycle driver. Plus Manang S who comes to trim our grass. Hubby knows a lot of old-timers here since this house has been built since the early 80s. But still, we don’t socialize. In the village where my in-laws house is, 10 minutes away from us, almost everybody knows everybody. (Kongkong is in the 1st phase, they are in the 3rd phase.)
I guess it all boils down to the kind of neighbors we have. There are now plenty of squatters on the other street where the river (or what used to be a clean, flowing river)…Not that we are discriminating. I was the one (still am) who calls the barangay when there is trouble brewing outside at night. Thank God for the 10-4 curfew. And the neighbor’s videoke that was shut down. And, never mind…Sigh.
LC: wow, small world kayo ni kongkong!
i knooow what youre talking about julie! tama ka, the character of the people around us is a factor also. a big factor in fact. come to think of it, i have nothing much in common with the people next door.
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30 July 2007, 10:35 pmtoni:
eek! i don’t know who my neighbors are either. and the weird thing is, i prefer it that way. weird ba? call me anti-social.
LC: oo nga - anti-social is the term. may pagka-ganyan din ako dito,heheh!
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30 July 2007, 10:58 pmauee:
Dyahi naman kasi na makipag-chikahan sa kapitbahay. In our first year I told hubby we ought to invite some for “tea” but hubby’s reluctant. So after 3 years, ka-hi-hello namin immediate neighbours lang, that’s about 5 houses. I do try & make an effort to be friendly though. When I cooked some pancit (or similar “Chinese” fare) I give them away, kapitbahay talaga ‘no? Nung una ayaw pa din ng asawa ko baka daw kung ano isipin nung mga puti. Pero nung unang bigay ko kinabukasan yung isa nanghihingi pa… kapal.
LC: wow, youre popular na over there, the lady who cooks delicious pansit
pansit broke the barriers. im sure they not only see you as a good cook, but a friendly cook too 
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30 July 2007, 11:10 pmrHo:
ehem… ehem… hahaha!!
pero lam mo, napaisip ako ah! tinamaan ako.. hahaha! oo nga naman! yung kapitbahay ko dito sa amin ni hindi ko nga alam kung ano ang pangalan nila e pero pag nagkakasalubong sa labas, gaya mo… hi en hello lang minsan nga smile na lang! mahirap na rin kasi! teka pala, hihingiin ko na lang ang YM id nya! hahahaha!
LC: after hi and hello gusto mo na pumasok ng bahay agad diba
oo nga, hingin mo na lang ym, hehehe
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30 July 2007, 11:48 pmrazberry:
We live here for 9yrs, pero hindi ko kilala mga kapitbahay.. yung mga ibang officers lang ang kilala ko at ka hi and hello ko. Pero yung brother ko, maraming kilala dito kahit un mga janitor sa ibang building kilala nya.. mas friendly kase sa akin yun, hehehe, samantalang every 10months lang sya umuuwi dito, tapos mag sstay lang ng 2months..
LC: ah, friendly talaga ang kapatid mo. nakakatuwa naman. depende rin talaga sa personality ng tao ang pangangapitbahay
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31 July 2007, 11:39 amZherwin:
and i thought ako lang ang suplado at di kilala ang mga kapitbahay? hehehe
what it is with us kaya? is it because we came from different provinces? o dahil matatanda na tayo nung magsilipat tayo and we already have our own set of values and idea of how to live and not to live life? baka nga.
pero tingnan mo yung mga bata, hanggang kabilang kanto o phase ng subdivision kakilala nila. bakit tayong matatanda, mismong katapat bahay, hindi alam ang pangalan?
LC: mas complicated tayo, mas maraming barriers, mas maraming iniisip, mas maraming nire-require of another person before we allow them to get near us. ang mga kids, basta the other has toys, ok na yon hahaha!
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31 July 2007, 11:48 amannamanila:
I also keep to myself in the neighborhood. I don’t know kasi how to small talk. am realy shy. But they think I am suplada.
But in the office, I circulate, a hailfellowwellmet.
You think I have a dual personality?
LC: dual personality, as in the disorder, wag naman sana - pareho tayo e. hahaha! i can do small talk, but to have it progress from a mere small talk to a more intimate, more personal conversation, it would need time.
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31 July 2007, 10:13 pm