occupation: SAHM

These questions were given by Noemi.

1. You are good at remembering history or past events. Do you remember what you wore when you first met your husband? What was he wearing?

That’s easy. Let’s see.. I was wearing a maroon striped V-neck shirt from Penshoppe, jeans and sandals. Ipan - a yellow striped collared shirt, jeans and sneakers.

We met at a party. He arrived at 830 pm, I was there 45 minutes earlier. I left the party at 9pm. Oh sorry, you didn’t ask for that. 

2.  You said that a mother’s instinct is like having a super power. How do you nurture that mother instinct? Do you think it is a gift or something natural in mothers?

I think it’s a gift that needs nurturing. 

Something akin to a seed. And I think everyone has it.

But just like any other seed, we should do something to make it grow. A mother nurtures that seed by getting to know her child. By responding to the child’s needs. By working on communicating with the child.

There is some trial and error at first. But soon, a mother’s response will become more intuitive because she has invested time and effort in knowing and connecting with her child.

(Whew! I had to get some help from The Discipline Book by William Sears MD and Martha Sears RN to help me explain this. )

3. If you were not a homemaker, where would you be employed today?

The jobs I had before I got married required me to work in shifts and on weekends and holidays. It was fun. But now, I honestly don’t see myself in a job with such a schedule.

I’m afraid even a regular 8-5 job is no longer appealing too.

I gave this question much thought. But I really cannot see myself anywhere else but here. 

But I would like to pursue my dream to get published. And right now, I’m weighing the pros and cons of a particular business I’d like to get into.

In any case, it will not deter me from being a SAHM. I believe this is my lot in life. This is really where I’m supposed to be.

You said “today.” You didn’t say 5-10 years from now.

4. What song best describes the person you are?

I hope this is not too embarassing, because I would have to get a song from Barney. Yeah, the purple dinosaur.

It’s a great day, a beautiful day.
The kind of day that makes me want to say.
I’m glad that I’m alive, I’m happy to be me.
And that’s the way to be.

5. When I was a SAHM about the same age as you are now, I looked like a slob. How do you manage to take care of yourself? Any beauty regimen? or self-care tips?

No different from everyone else’s. I use moisturizers and body lotions. I (try to) eat healthy. I (try to) get 8 hours of sleep.

I admit though, that some years ago, I was slovenly. Like I didn’t feel squeamish wearing frayed jammies I slept in for the rest of the day. I never gave a thought about dressing nicely at home. What for?, I thought.

And then I came across Flylady. One of the principles Flylady teaches is to look good even when a SAHM is not going anywhere.

Some of the benefits include:

1. Being a good example to her children that staying at home should not mean she can look drab.

2. Being a good example to the rest of the world that being a housewife doesn’t mean looking drab.

3. Being able to manage her home better because she feels good.

4. Being a happier mother and wife because she feels good.

I also saw an episode of a popular gag show featuring practical jokes on unsuspecting people. The show’s staff collaborated with a water delivery service.

Homeowners will usually open their gates to these delivery boys so the latter can bring in the containers of drinking water. Now the joke was, the delivery boy was dressed in rags and covered with grime, yet he spoke perfect English.

The victims were all housewives. But I didn’t notice the look of shock on their faces upon seeing a man in rags greeting them a cheery  ”Good day! ”

What I couldn’t forget to this day was how they looked.  

Most of them wore ratty oversized shirts and shorts. Their hair seemed uncombed, and those with long tresses had haphazardly-done ponytails. One of them, I suspect, was not even wearing a bra.   

I live near the show’s HQ, and I couldn’t help thinking I could’ve been one of them. I wouldn’t mind being their victim, but to be caught on camera looking like.. that?

And it wasn’t impossible. I had the same clothes on while I watched those women.

But we couldn’t blame them. They were at home. They never suspected someone would be taking a video of them. Had they known they would be seen on national tv I’m sure they would’ve at least combed their hair. 

I decided right then and there that everyday, even if I have no plans to go out, I would exert effort to make myself look ready to face anyone at anytime. 

Even Michael V, should he want to ask if I use Joy dishwashing liquid.

So I guess the core of my beauty regimen is an overhauled belief about looking good. I should make myself look nice not only for visitors or my fellow mall rats, but most importantly, for my family whom I see 24 hours a day.

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