legacy
I was reed-thin when I was in grade school. My mom fed me llaneras of leche flan, served heaps of rice on my plate, practically gave me vitamin overdose, and yet I never gained a pound.
And then I got hospitalized for a week, and I looked even more emaciated. When I was finally well enough to go to school, our homeroom teacher, Ms. Calica, hugged me tight as soon as I entered the classroom. “Ang payat mo, iha,” she said and kissed me on the forehead. Her gesture was unexpected, I must be a pitiful sight.
I wasn’t able to get back the weight I lost. Coupled with a terrible job a hairdresser did on my hair, I looked like a beggar in a school uniform. I was a target of insults, from my classmates, even from my very own circle of friends. Skeleton, kawayan, tingting, patpat, I heard it all.
It didn’t help that our new homeroom adviser always joined in the fun. One time all of us 40 students raised our hands eagerly to be called to recite, and Ms. Mangas* just burst in to laughter. We had no idea why. When she finally got a hold of herself, she said, Yung kamay ni Cess, sa kanya ang pinakamahaba. Ang payat-payat.
Looking back, I realized Ms. Mangas disliked me although there was no clear reason why. Mainit ang dugo, maybe because not only was I too thin, my mouth was also full to the brim with teeth. Oh yeah, I was an ugly kid.Â
I remember her calling me to recite when her questions became too hard, calling me a slowpoke when it took me a second or two to give the answer, smirking when I gave the right one too quickly.  Â
Weeks before graduating from elementary, I mysteriously lost a place in the honor roll. My mom went to school and demanded for answers. I was consistently among the top 3 in the first 3 quarters of school, so why was I suddenly in 8th place.
Ms. Mangas, clearly flustered with my mom, reviewed my records and found out that my extra-curricular activities were not given credits. Naku, si Cess po kasi, hindi binigay sa akin ang mga extra-currricular niya. And my mom responded, Bakit mo sinisisi ang anak ko, hindi ba tungkulin mo yan? Ms. Mangas appeased my mom by assigning me to recite the Pledge of Loyalty on graduation day, much to the dismay of the parents of my classmate who was originally tasked to do so.Â
I never told my mom the things Ms. Mangas and my classmates did to me. It is only just now, when I’m already a mother of 2 and without the vaguest idea on the fate of my teacher, when I began telling her and my friends, because it is only now that I realized I was bullied. She deserved a report to the principal’s office, but the thought never crossed my mind.
Despite the onslaught of ridicule, I never felt bullied. I laughed, I got mad, but I never lost sleep about it. To this day, I have never bogged down whenever I hear mean things thrown my way. Sure I do get hurt, but I don’t get controlled by it. I don’t lose my sense of self.
I am lucky. Stories and movies abound about people who enter adulthood with enormous emotional baggages, while here I am, thinking, hey, I didn’t even know I was bullied. I actually think my childhood was fun, thank you very much.
My husband, on the other hand, had quite an easy school life. He was popular, he was friends with everybody. What their school editor wrote about him in the yearbook was proof of that. He never experienced bullying back then. In fact, he reached out to those who were different.
He would always tell me stories about his high school prom. He won the award Mr. JS Prom - his mom has the sash and the pictures. Every girl wanted to dance with him, and he could’ve had his pick among the pretty and popular ones in the ballroom.Â
But the girl he asked to dance was the fat one in the corner. And the girl who was too shy. The girl who was too dark. The wallflowers other boys didn’t even notice.
My parents never gave me pep talks about being comfortable with myself. His parents never lectured him about equal treatment of people.
But I remember my parents saying “Carry on!” no matter how difficult situations were. They trudgd on even in the face of criticism. His parents continue to welcome people in their home and even serve them food- even tricycle drivers and fruit vendors  who just happen to pass by. Very Seventh Heaven.
Our thanks to our parents for being who they are, for molding us into the way we are now. Now how to pass on the legacy to our children.
 *Ms. Mangas, thank me because I’m not giving out your real name. I had second thoughts though.
Era:
pers ba ako?
Era:
oo nga! hehehe!
glad you never felt bullied! you really was a tough one!
to each his own siguro and you’re so lucky you have a very positive attitude and outlook in life. the secret working way back ba?
jho:
Oh. I never felt bullied when I was still a kid.
Thought I will never ever forget a classmate of mine who said “UTO UTO KA NAMAN E” Shame on her! I would have smack her face right there and then… but i didn’t. Siguro kasi hindi ako palaaway na tao. Karma will befell her…
feng:
gee, ladycess that teacher of yours was really terrible. of all the things i hate most, it is that kind of teacher with that kind of attitude.
looking at the brighter side of it though, it must have have thought you to be brave and tough. of course, with a mother as the wind beneath your wings.
maiylah:
i feel pity for teachers who aren’t really “teachers”. buti nalang aware na tayo ngayon, though am so sure meron pa rin mga “bully teachers”. that’s reality, i guess.
i’m sure you and your hubby will be molding your kids just right!
sasha:
Onga, you were bullied, Cess! Naku teachers like that should really be reported. I remember a girl friend of mine in HS, her surname is the tagalog word for girl’s undies. One time, during roll call, ouor Chemistry teacher called out “bra!” and of course, nobody understood at first. Until it dawned on everyone she was calling my friend. My friend burst out crying. She was humiliated because all the boys laughed. Hay… those kind of teachers should be reported talaga.
I had a lucky childhood, including my school years. I never encountered any bullying. Once in HS, a boy in my class teased me because I was wearing an “S” earrings. He called me “siopao” until I cannot tolerate it anymore. Sinaksak ko sya sa kamay ng ilang beses (dun ko nga nalaman na may violent tendency pala ako), di tumigil sya. His dad apologized to me that same day. hehehe
Anyway, ang sweet ng hubby mo ha. Kaya naman nakuha nya ang mabait na asawa naks! hehe… And you know what Cess, that just goes to show na you have a strong personality. Kasi kung hindi, you could have carried all those negative things.
Happy Friday sa buong family!
jho:
tagged you. can’t write sa cbox mo… may error na lumalabas
Christina:
This one brings back the years. It’s true that we have been called all those names when we were kids - I was called ‘Intsek beho’ or “Tinapa/Tinaga/Tinapilok” as a stupid pun on my childhood nickname, Tina. But then I always managed to get even with an equally sarcastic retort. Thank goodness I had my wits with me at that time.
I’m glad you shared your childhood with us. Nakakatuwa and I never thought thin kids also had it bad (I was in the ‘fat camp’ back then, you see). But anyway, look at you now — kakaingget kasi super slim!
In the end, ikaw ang winner.
auee:
Hey like you I had this horrid teacher who used to pick on me for no reason at all. She used to make me cry but everytime I tell my sisters not to bother. Kaya ko naman, she’s not worth it I thought.
You’re husband is really sweet. This day & age, who amongst the popular boys will pick the wallflowers?
You have a strong character coming out of your experience unscathed.
ann:
Buti nga walang naging negative effect syo yung childhood experience mo.
At least you know what to do now kapag nangyari yan sa mga kids mo di ba? Sugurin ang teacher…hahaha!
Rowena:
hi lady cess,
sad naman your story re your former teacher. i remember my 3rd grade teacher poked a ruler on my hands and inipit pa both of my hands inside the book. she thought i started reading the book already. i told my dad what happened. he went straight to my teacher and pinagsabihan sya talaga. since my dad was a close friend of the principal, she became nice to me after the talk with my dad. kaya i told my kids if ever their teachers harm them even a bit they should tell me. ill surely have prc cancell their license.
mousey:
nalala ko rin nung school years ko. may pang asar din sila sa akin pero di ko yun pinansin.
with those kind of teachers they will pay at heaven’s gate.
wendy:
Happy Saturday Mommy Cess!
May “Ms. Mangas” din sa buhay ko noong nasa high school ako… whewww… my goodness! That teacher! Hmp!
Naks naman, heartthrob pala si hubby mo, at ang bait! Sweet!
noemi:
Hah I remember a teacher who was exasperated with my sewing. She dumped the apron on my head. Good you didn’t get too traumatized over Ms Mangas. Teacher stories like this should be told so our children don’t need to come across this unacceptable behavior
julie:
After all that has been said and done, you must be a very brave person to come out unscathed. And that teacher of yours, she is a shame to the teaching profession. Sabagay, they were allowed to do things before that would probably merit a case filed against them now if they do those in these times. Hah.
I was so happy to see you all yesterday. Hope you and I can have a chat real soon. So many things to talk about. Btw, you have a semblance to my DD1’s ninang who is a speech-language pathologist.
SexyMom:
but you look good! and so sure of yourself! what will ms mangas say now if she sees you?
twice nice seeing you, Lady Cess, in the PMN lunch. next time we get together, it will surely be in a more relaxed environment, where we could all chat. though it would be more of a get together–we already know a lot about each other because of our blogs.
it’s just a matter of connecting the names with the faces!
dangkin:
oh, those teachers! i hate some of them, too! grrrrr!
they are the reasons why i strive harder.. and they are the reasons, too, why i don’t want to become one of them! 
naks naman…campus crush pala si mister! you’re blessed!
enjoy your day!
malaya:
tough lady! if i were in your shoes, sinapak ko na sila kahit titser ko pa(heheh just kidding).
Eli:
Hi Ms. Cess… nice post… brought back my own memories of grade school… naisip ko tuloy, i was never bullied too, pero mga ‘friends’ ko nun, parang ako ng source of laughter.. pinagtatawanan nlako..:)
chateau:
Hi cess! Yesterday I was telling Rach that my daughter VGood is always being bullied by bigger girls in school (and some cousins). But like you, she doesn’t seem to mind, she is oblivious even that the bullies mean to hurt her. I’m just thankful that she is that way. Though I hope later she will also learn to assert herself. Oh, she is thin too btw
I love this theme pala by Lisa Wilson.. I was choosing between this and the one I have now by Beccary.
Hindi ko masyado gusto ang color green eh hehe.
It was great to meet you. Hope we meet again soon.
cat:
Teachers are there to teach and protect the students, they are not there to berate or belittle the students. Good thing you’re tough Lady Cess!
anyway, I hope this teacher is no longer teaching.
Linnor:
This post brought back sad memories. I used to be really thin, had long straight hair, and my teeth were protruding and badly needed braces….
I heard all sorts of “kantiyaw”: “walking dead”, “zombie”, “kalansay”…. It hurt me a lot. My self-esteem was at an all time low.
I’m glad that phase is all over now for you and as well as for me. God has His mysterious ways in making things turn for the best.